Bon Jovi vs. The Landlord

I’ve either had too much coffee this morning or not enough; I can’t tell which. Either way, this is a Miz Parker original. Enjoy.


911 Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Landlord: I don’t know if it’s an emergency, per se…
911 Operator: What seems to be the trouble?
Landlord: Well, there’s this guy here.
911 Operator: What sort of guy?
Landlord: Well, he says he’s a cowboy.
911 Operator: A cowboy?
Landlord: Yes, a cowboy. He’s trying to rent an apartment from me. I’m a landlord, you see.
911 Operator: And what seems to be the problem?
Landlord: Well for starters, he showed up riding what appears to be some sort of….steel horse.
911 Operator: A steel horse? What do you mean, it’s a horse made of steel?
Landlord: Yes, it’s a horse made of steel. You should see my lobby! It’s completely destroyed…
911 Operator: Well, can you tell him to take the horse outside?
Landlord: I tried that, but he said he had the night on his side.
911 Operator: What….what the fuck does that mean?
Landlord: I don’t know, he’s making me very nervous.
911 Operator: Okay, I’m dispatching the police. Did the man do anything else?
Landlord: Well, he said that sometimes he sleeps, but sometimes not for days. I’m thinking meth junkie. He might be dangerous. He also said something about the bottle that he drinks…
911 Operator: Well, try not to antagonize him.
Landlord: Well, after I told him to take the horse outside, he threatened me.
911 Operator: Threatened you? What did he do?
Landlord: Well, he brandished what appeared to be some sort of a loaded six-string.
911 Operator: Dear God.
Landlord: Yes, he carried it on his back.
911 Operator: Did you try calming him down?
Landlord: Yes, but he threatened me again.
911 Operator: What did he say?
Landlord: He….said he would rock my face.
911 Operator: Rock your face?
Landlord: I think he’s done it before, to tell you the truth. He said he’d seen a million faces, and rocked them all.
911 Operator: Sir, just stay calm, the police will be there in a minute.
Landlord: Please hurry. I get the idea that this guy plays for keeps….

About Miz Parker

I'm a musician, writer, web developer and avid reader who maintains two blogs. For Bucket List Book Reviews (formerly Bucket List Media), my goal is to read and review each book on the popular list "1,001 Books to Read Before You Die." This blog is intended to chronicle my experiences and thoughts on each, and share opinions with other bibliophiles. Bucket List Media is a semi-serious blog which is appropriate for all ages. For Live At E's (see the menu), I rant in general about pop culture, life, celebrities, and current events. Live At E's contains foul language and is deliberately offensive. Turn on your sarcasm detector.
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4 Responses to Bon Jovi vs. The Landlord

  1. hehee.. this made me giggle. thanks!!

  2. This was sooo funny. I don’t even know what else to say.

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