Last weekend was my husband’s birthday weekend, and there was so much going on in town that we were interested in doing that we decided to make a weekend of attending music festivals and shows.
Saturday was the Boise Music Festival. The city predicted that 65,000 people would turn up in the park to enjoy the free festivities, which included Sugar Ray, MC Hammer, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Obviously, if one has an opportunity to see MC Hammer on his birthday, one cannot pass it up. So, despite our general misgivings about both purposely being around huge crowds of people and having to use outhouses that 65,000 other people are using, we ventured out of our cave. Sunday, I had purchased tickets for us to see Dredg (one of my husband’s favorite bands) with Fair to Midland and The Trophy Fire. Some stray observations from our weekend out:
1) I expect to see 6-pack abbed, muscly, tan guy with their shirts off at an outdoor festival that are 18-24 years old. After that, and you’re a 6-pack-abbed, muscly, tan guy with his shirt off that’s clearly over thirty, I’m just wondering what you do for a living that you have time to look like that.
2. Stop wearing tube tops. No, there’s no caveat to that. No, “if you’re wider than you are tall”, no anything. Just stop.
|Left: What most people look like in a tube top. Right: Still not great.|
3. Just because your dog is technically WELCOME at such an event, doesn’t mean that said event is any place for a dog. Use your head. It’s 102 degrees outside, there are 65K people around, and there is a lot of noise. I know, YOUR dog is the sweetest doggie in the whole wide world and would never hurt anyone! 99 times out of 100, you might be right, but you cannot predict how a dog is going to react if he is tired, hot, thirsty, stressed out, threatened, afraid, or possibly all of the above. If YOU’RE hot, thirsty, and cranky because of the crowd, imagine how your dog feels.
4. We saw the School of Rock (Eagle, Idaho) play, and they were about the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life. Seeing a 10-year old front a band and sing Metallica, Soundgarden, Queen and more was inspiring. What a great bunch of kids with a ton of talent. Seriously, check them out. I just want to pinch all of their cheeks and adopt them. I will never get over seeing a little boy sing “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, so don’t even ask me to.
We took a bunch of footage of them, but no one song came out great, so we made a montage. Enjoy.
5. We followed up School of Rock with a couple of beers and a trip to the main stage, where we saw MC Hammer play. He sounds good, but it might as well have been a recording. Plus, he has gotten fat:
|Please Hammer Don’t Eat Me.|
The crowd was reasonably apathetic about the entire performance. The best remarks to come from that were a text message exchange between my husband and a friend of his who lives in New Zealand:
Friend: Hey, what are you doing?
Husband: I’m watching 20 black guys onstage in front of 70,000 white people who don’t give a fuck.
Friend: Are you at church?
6. MC Hammer was followed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and by God, Joan Jett still puts on a hell of a show. I wasn’t sure what to expect – the woman is, after all, in her fifties – but she was incredible. I expected her to close with “I Love Rock and Roll” – arguably her biggest hit – and of course she played it, but her set opened with “Bad Reputation” and also included “Cherry Bomb”, “Do You Wanna Touch Me” (Gary Glitter cover), “I Wanna Be Your Dog” (Iggy and the Stooges cover), “Fake Friends”, “School Days”, “Crimson and Clover” (originally Tommy James and the Shondells) and “I Hate Myself for Loving You”, among others; followed by an encore that included Sly and the Family Stone’s “Everyday People.” In-fucking-credible. What a show. We got pretty close to the stage. Some photos we took:
|Could she be any hotter?|
7. After the Music Fest, we met up with some friends for karaoke, which included my husband performing the most fantastic version of Electric Six’s “Gay Bar” I have ever seen, and some dancing. To the pretty girl who slinked up to my husband after his performance, making him blush – I had my eye on you, but then you purred to him, “I think you left your glasses on the stage.” You are awesome. His face was priceless.
Stray notes to some of our other fellow revelers:
7a) To the blonde in the 1980’s denim miniskirt who was “dropping it like it was hot”: I saw London, I saw France, and if you had been wearing underpants, I’d have seen those too. Maybe next time you’re going to squat in a mini, you’ll want to cover the cooch. Shroud the snatch. Hide the hoo-ha. Just a thought. It also probably wouldn’t kill you to re-think the denim miniskirt, but let’s take one positive step at a time.
7b) To the drunk blonde girl in the baseball cap who was (badly) attempting to freak dance with the black girl – I’m not sure I’ve ever seen moves like that. My description will not do this particular spectacle justice, but I shall try. Black girl is dancing, in sort of a semi-crouched position. Drunk blonde girl comes up close behind her, crouches down even further to dance, takes off her hat, reaches between the legs of the black girl, and waves her arms back and forth whilst trying (unsuccessfully) to maintain her balance. My husband’s remark: “I’ve been out of the club scene a long time, and I have never claimed to be a dancer. But since when does squatting and fanning a stranger’s crotch with a hat qualify as dancing?” I about lost my shit.
8. We followed up Music Fest the next day with a trip to The Venue to see Dredg, with opening bands The Trophy Fire and Fair to Midland. Fair to Midland was a very welcome surprise (I had not previously heard of them), and well worth checking out if you’re into progressive metal. The vocalist is incredible. Dredg, the main attraction, played for about an hour and a half and were absolutely tremendous. Plus, the lead singer looks like a cross between Mark Ruffalo and the naive guy from Spin City (Alexander Chaplin). Observe:
|Gavin Hayes (Dredg)||Alexander Chaplin||Mark Ruffalo|
|What say you, internet? Uncanny, right? More like Mark Ruffalo than Chaplin, but still…|
Some photos that we took:
|I love this photo.|
|His hair mysteriously remained perfect throughout the set.|
Check them out at dredg.com.
All in all, we had a great time, and how often do you get to legitimately tag a blog “Fanning a Stranger’s Crotch with a Hat”?